Random Tangent #1: My Oboe Story

I started playing the oboe in 9th grade when I got tired of the flute.  Don't get me wrong, I love playing the flute and still play often, I would just get frustrated in band because I could site read the music and wanted to play something that would be more challenging. That's when my band director asked if I wanted to play the oboe.  I said "sure!" even though I had absolutely no idea what in the world an oboe was.  I really enjoyed learning this new instrument and happily applied to the BYU school of music, to which I was accepted.
I spent the next 3 years in performing groups on the oboe and as a 2nd alto while studying music theory, history, dictation and many other music subjects.  I decided to focus on music education, specifically with younger kids, and began studying to be an elementary music specialist.  Unfortunately, this is where my oboe career hit a really rough bump.  I always loved playing the oboe but when I started my other music classes the oboe was shoved aside as it was a class I still had to take but did not coincide with learning how to be a music specialist.  The two hours of daily practice on top of hours of trying, and failing, to make good reeds became burdensome and frustrating as I was taking and working hard in my other classes as well.  The oboe became a chore instead of the instrument I had previously loved playing.  I had many conflicts arise that I do not want to go into online but it left me being extremely nervous and reserved when I played whether in private lessons, master class, or other performances.  While I was still enjoying my other music classes and was extremely excited about my major, I couldn't wait to be finished with the oboe.

The day of my last jury I went home, put my oboe on a shelf and did not plan on pulling it out for a long time.  That summer the word spread that I played the oboe and I did one number in church with a vocalist and a flute but that was the last time I played a performance until today, over 3 years later.  Every time I thought of paying I would feel all the old anxiety building up again associated with my last few semesters on the oboe.  I messed around a day or two every year but had no desire to pick it up again as a main instrument.  At the same time, this made my heart ache as I still felt the love and joy I used to experience when playing but I just couldn't overcome the fear that had developed.

I often played the flute, including many musical numbers in church.  Part of me still felt something was missing.  About a year ago I pulled out the oboe and played for my then newborn son.  He really seemed to like the music and I felt a flicker of that wonderful oboe fire come back.  I wanted to play and practice but needed to get a good reed and some music.  Of course, life happened and I didn't do it.  However, I did begin to spread around my ward that I played the oboe.  I hoped to be asked to play a musical number which would force me to practice.  I even went so far as to tell the person in charge of musical numbers that I would love to play an oboe solo.  She said that she would set it up and I was thrilled as I went home and began looking through my old music trying to find a piece to work on.  The next week she said with excitement that I had been approved for my flute number!  I told her I wanted to do an oboe number and asked if I could switch.  I was told that the approval was for flute so I needed to pay the flute.   I half-heartily practiced my flute piece and played it on the appointed day but felt frustrated as this was suppose to be the big push to get me back into the oboe.

 As months went by I still felt that oboe fire burning inside me and pushing me to get it back out.  I tried a few times but knew I needed a bigger motivation.  That's when I approached the stake music chair and informed her that I played the oboe.  Within two weeks I received a phone call and was asked to prepare an oboe piece for the stake music fireside.  With excitement and enthusiasm I thought through different Christmas pieces and decided to find an arrangement of O Come O Come Emmanuel as I thought it would be hauntingly beautiful on the oboe.  I found the perfect arrangement and a pianist!  I began working on what I hoped would be an amazing reed and after much tweaking and a lot of time sitting with my good old knife and reed plaque I had what I felt was the perfect reed.
 One thing I hadn't taken into consideration though, I was almost 7 months pregnant.  I hadn't thought about how difficult it would be to try and build my breath support from nothing to what it would need to be for the perfect performance I wanted to give while having not seriously practiced for over 3 years and having limited breathing abilities due to the little girl growing inside me.

With the performance coming closer and closer I began to attempt to practice.  I say attempt because every time I played my 15 month old son would come up to me and cry.  For some reason he really did not like my giving 100% of my attention to something other than him.  I then tried to practice when my husband was home to help with him but with my husband's busy work and school schedule this was not giving me enough time to practice.  I became desperate to find a time that I could play and decided to attempt it after little Spiderman had gone to sleep at night.  That is when I made the miraculous discovery that my little boy sleeps through the oboe!  I shouldn't have been surprised since he sleeps through the neighbors, the singles ward FHE that occasionally takes place very loudly in our parking lot and our smoke detectors when we burn food but it surprised me none the less.  Night practice went great and I felt my love for the oboe return as I prepared for the big day, which was today.

Naturally, today I woke up sick.  Ha ha ha!  You know, I should have expected it.  While I really just wanted to lay in bed today I met up with the accompanist at the appointed practice time because I had to.  This was exactly why I wanted to play in the fireside, it would force me to practice even when I didn't feel like it!  We headed to the performance and I told my husband on the way that my goal was to sound better than a high school student.  No offense to any high school oboists, I just wanted to sound at a higher level than that.   We found our seats and I put my oboe together.  The concert began and at the right amount of time before my turn I began soaking my reed just as I had planned.

It was my turn to be on deck when suddenly I began to shake.  I had forgotten that I shake when I get nervous!  I used to stand back stage or sit in the chair at master class or even in my private lessons and my hands would shake uncontrollably due to how nervous I was.  Sometimes my whole body would shake as I waited.  Tonight I had the whole body shake as I stood by the stage waiting for the performance ahead of mine to finish.  "What was I thinking?!?" kept running through my mind.  I stopped and thought of the message of the fireside and the piece I was to perform.  "I am playing this song on the oboe to express my love for the Savior." I told myself as I walked onto the stage and nodded to the accompanist to begin. I saw my amazing, wonderful, and supportive husband standing on the side holding my little Spiderman in his cute little pajamas and I knew it would be okay.

I felt the song went great!  Especially considering the whole not practicing for years thing.  The first phrase ended with a horrible cut off and I know that the breath support was not what I had hoped for or could have done if I wasn't as far along with the pregnancy or had been practicing more but overall I felt it went well.  I received the greatest compliment I could have that night when I was asked if I went through the school of music on the oboe.  Not if I was applying for it, nor if I was currently in it but if I had gone through it.  That simple question made my night.  I had gone through the school of music on the oboe and I sounded good enough, at least to that person, to adequately represent the practice and hard work I had put into the oboe those years.

I am thrilled to say that my full blown love for playing the oboe has returned.  I am once again filled with excitement and can't wait to resume my daily practice.  I have already gone online and made sure that my favorite piece from when I was in the school of music is available for check out and I will be heading there tomorrow to get it.  I also know the second piece I want to work on which is one many of my fellow oboists played in the oboe studio but I didn't have the chance to study.  Once I remaster the old piece, I will practice and learn the new one that I have heard and enjoyed listening to many times during those days I would sit in master class.  I also have the perfect time to practice once my little one is asleep.  I am excited and thrilled to begin my oboe adventure again and can't wait to see where this road will take me.

Spiderman's Newest Adventures

Spiderman has become a good little helper.  Any time he sees the broom he proceeds to take it all over the house trying to sweep smiling and laughing.  It is precious!  When we are getting ready to go outside he can go to the shoe box and bring me not only his shoes, but mine too.  He tries to wear Cory and my shoes as well which is always fun.  He likes to help us undecorate the Christmas tree by taking off ornaments and then bringing them to us. The bottom half of the tree has nothing left on it except for lights.  Spiderman has learned to unbabyproof the house as well.  We finally taught him to stop taking the plastic socket protectors out of the sockets but he learned how to open the cupboards with the baby proof lever and he can take the door nob covers off the doors.   Luckily the cupboard just holds towels as all the chemicals and such are way out of reach and he can't open doors yet.  We will have to get new door locks up high before he learns how to open them!

Spiderman's talking has also really picked up lately.  He has really surprised us this last week with new words.  He signs and says juice, which is one we have been working on and every since meeting the cats at Grandma and Grandpa Mills's house he absolutely loves anything resembling a cat which he also says and signs.  However, he pointed at a tree one day when I took him to Cory's work and said, "Tree!"  I didn't know he could say that!  Yesterday Cory asked if I had taught Spiderman how to say key.  I told him I hadn't and Spiderman pointed at the mail key on the wall and said "Key."  We showed him the sign for key and he did it back almost perfectly.  When he signs help we ask him what he wants help with.  He will point at whatever he wants and say "this."  He also learned how to say jacket.

I think Spiderman is going through a growth spurt as well because he is eating anything and everything we put in front of him including kiwi and pomegranate.  He has started showing affection which always makes me feel special.  He gives great big kisses on the cheek and will hug around the neck.  It makes me excited to see him so happy to give hugs and kisses to Cory and I.  Spiderman has also become really interested in books.  He used to spend a few seconds looking at one and then would walk away to do something else.  Now he will let us ready a full book to him and have us read it multiple times before he gets bored.  He also likes to sit in his car seat and "read" a book while we drive around town.  His favorite car seat book right now is his Good Night Gorilla book from his Grandma Day.  His favorite house books are his Big Racing Car book from Grandma Mills and his The Paper Bag Princess book from his mama, which he likes because of the dragon roaring throughout it.  He likes to roar right along with the book.  He thinks all animals roar too, including his giraffes.  He walks everywhere and rarely crawls anymore.  Spiderman also loves to run!  Sometimes he can make it a good distance and other times he trips over his feet and falls after only a few steps.  Pretty soon he will have it mastered and we will have great fun trying to keep up with him.

Cory is preparing for his last week of classes and finals this week.  He will probably have a final or two next week as well. Then he will have a good long break from school which we are all looking forward to as we will get to spend more time together!

We have about 10 more weeks until we get to meet our baby girl!  She is a huge mover and takes after her brother in that way.  Although Spiderman was more into kicking and dancing where she also enjoys trying to stretch out as far as she can.  Spiderman likes giving my stomach hugs.  I am not sure if it is because he understands what is going on or just because he thinks it's funny since it keeps getting bigger.  I like to think the first.  I am excited for her to come and although I know I will love her just as much as I love Spiderman, I think I will miss having so much one on one time with my little boy.  I am trying to really enjoy these last weeks where I can spend all my time playing with Spiderman. 

Random thought....

After reading The Golden Compass I don't think I will ever think of polar bears the same way again. Every time I see a drawing painting or picture of one I get nervous. Go figure.

Updates on Life

We received exciting news yesterday.  Cory was accepted into BYU's general business management program!  That means at least 2 more years in "Happy Valley" (aka Provo) for us.  I am glad since it's a great buisness school but also it is a great blessing so that we don't have to apply for other colleges and then programs while preparing to move and have another baby.  It is nice to know he will be able to finish his schooling from where we are currently settled as we have a great apartment, fantastic ward (local church congregation) and amazing friends. 





David is 14 1/2  months old now and has grown in leaps and bounds over the last few months.  His transition from baby to toddler is near completion and I am constantly going back and forth between wanting him to slow down and being so excited as he learns new things.  He has mastered walking and every now and then he will take a good stab at running. (I am okay if he takes a while longer to master running) He talks and signs so much I love it!  He now has over 30 signs (ASL) down and uses them constantly to communicate what he wants or even what he is excited about.  My favorite is how he says "Jesus."  In his room and around the house are pictures of the Savior and every time he sees one he says, "susus" and signs Jesus.  He doesn't get the sign exactly right but it is close enough to know what he is saying.  His eyes always light up when he sees the pictures of the Savior and I love it!  He loves to climb and is on top of anything and everything in sight with huge smiles.  He talks all the time without using any real words and he gives long elaborate speeches compete with arm gestures.  I can't wait for him to master more English so we can understand all of his talking.  He is also really into animals right now.  He greatly enjoys anything with ducks or cows, both of which he will say in English and sign with great enthusiasm when he sees them.  It has been such a joy to watch him grow and learn over the last 14 months.  I feel so blessed to be able to spend every day at home playing with him and taking care of him.  He brings so much joy to Cory's and my life.

Starting a blog...

There are a few reasons I wanted to start a blog.  Probably the most important of them being that I liked the idea of having a place online to store family memories, pictures, and adventures.  While journal writing is great and something I still plan to do, I see a blog as a great way to preserve family stories that can be enjoyed for years to come.  I love the idea of little Spiderman coming onto the blog in 25 years to see what it was like when his little sister joined our family as he is preparing for one of his own children to come into the world.  Not that I am expecting that exact scenario to play out but I really hope that this is something my children will cherish as they grow.  Another reason is the obvious one of having a way for friends and family not near by to still be able to know what we have been up to and keep in touch.  The third reason is that in general I am a fairly shy person.  I don't often talk a lot and when I do it is rarely about those things I feel emotionally connected to or about personal opinions. (Unfortunately, life experiences have taught me to be very guarded when it comes to my personal opinions and emotions.)  For that reason I have wanted to include random insights I have into life or rants on things I feel strongly about.  I would love to have a way to express those ideas and thoughts, other than to my poor husband who gets to hear them on a regular basis, and I look forward to using this blog for that as well.  I hope that you enjoy reading about our adventures and I look forward to sharing them with you.  As a side note, I am a terrible speller.  This is something I have struggled with my entire life and while I do my best to get everything right and use spell check I often am told by others that there are still many errors.  Please be understanding of my struggle with spelling and try not to be bothered if I make too many mistakes.